Log in

And if the world ended tomorrow?
Then what?
Recent Entries 
Apparently it is the summer of getting hit on by obscenely hot assholes. And the sort-of-chubby cute guy that keeps staring at me still hasn't found the balls to talk to me, and God knows I'll never have the courage to talk to him. While I am looking forward to going back to RISD in three weeks, I will be surrounded by either gay men or guys that are so fucking weird I want nothing to do with them.


I'm working on getting some up-to-date pictures taken so I can get back on myspace. My knowledge of new bands is becoming slightly pitiful without it, and there are still some people I'd like to stay in touch with.
8th-Jul-2007 01:56 pm - Long time, no LJ
This entry is more for the purpose of venting than anything else. My apologies.

It's been awhile, LJ, and while I can't say that I have truly missed you, I feel the need to utilize you. After all, I am 19 now, which means I only have one more year to get all the teen angst out of my system before I become a melodramatic adult.

On Friday, I went to the First Friday art walk which, for those of you who don't know, is when all the art galleries open in Denver. I was with my ex, David, who is more and more becoming my boyfriend again, much to my own dismay.

All of a sudden, though a break in the hipsters and older couples, this guy in a white shirt comes through. Athen, one of my friends from RISD, was standing there for about a second before he ran up to hug me. I've spent most of the summer trying to forget about RISD and Providence. I stopped getting on facebook to keep in contact with my friends, I've even ceased speaking about my classmates, but seeing Athen was just too much. By the time I made it back to my car, I just broke down.

Hell, I'm not even that great of friends with Athen. In fact, I flat out disliked him for the first month or so. This was the same guy that spent almost an hour trying to convince me to start masturbating. And yet, just seeing him over coffee yesterday was the happiest I have been since my return.

Colorado is draining me. The friends I have here are a cruel reminder of the caliber of individuals I am accustomed to back in Rhode Island. I can't even produce artwork anymore.

Yet, after I'm done with this I'll probably end up calling people to see if they want to go clubbing with me tonight, even though The Church is becoming an increasingly funnier joke of a goth night. It just reminds me of the scene in Rhode Island which, even though I only went twice, was pretty much everything I wanted a goth scene to be.

But I suppose it's still one month down, two to go.
11th-Sep-2006 01:01 am - RISD
Art School is Highly Entertaining.

I had no idea participating in condescending activities generally reserved for summer camp could be so much fun. Art kids are fantastically bazaar, as I always knew they were, but most enjoyable.

Despite her penchant for Emo music, my roommate is pretty cool. Quite multi-cultural, as it turns out. She was born in Korea, then moved to Canada, and is now going to RISD. A little too Hot Topic for my taste, but these things happen.

And...yeah. I'll spare the internet the extensive gorey details of the past few days. They were slightly awkward to live through, and I doubt a translation into blog format would make them any less so.
7th-Aug-2006 12:48 pm(no subject)
Dear DJs at The Church,

The Labyrinth soundtrack does not constitute as goth. I love David Bowie just as much as the next rational human being, but that was entirely unnecessary. Also, cheesy 80s New Wave songs don't count either. And the Scissor Sisters are GAY DISCO. I realize the entertainment value of such a band, but dear lord:

"When you're walkin' down the street
And the man tries to get your business
And the people that you meet
Want to open you up like Christmas"

Additionally, I would like to know when commenting on a girl's breast size has ever worked as a pick-up line.
HAHAHAHA. Ohh. This made my week. Some Hot Topic girl from my school friended me on myspace. You know, the ones that desperately seek your attention and acceptance because, hey, I wear all black too! So, I thought I’d try to help her look like less of a moron, which, of course, backfired. Here is her profile:


Hilarity ensues:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Cloud

Haha, oh God, you kids crack me up.

And gothic? Sweetie, you wouldn't know what goth is if Peter Murphy spat in your face. Grow up.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Spike
Date: Jul 6, 2006 9:41 PM

how the hell is a different color gonna make my lips look any fucking bigger? i could really give a flying fuck to what you have to say. if i want to wear black lip stick i will. if you were trying to be nice or some shit like that go fucking you but i could really fucking care less. your the first person to say some thing in the past 4 years about my fucking make up and im not going to change. and trust me i have seen people who look like shit in black lip stick and i am not one of them. look dont give me any more of your fucking suggestions because the next thing your gonna be telling me is that you look like shit in black stop being gothic fuck your not a true got because you listen to Marilyn fucking manson. just becasue i listen to his fucking music doesnt mean im a fucking follower. fuck i listen to ICP too but you dont see me walking around with their shit on yelling woop woop to every fucking juggelo i see. XOXO

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Cloud
Date: Jul 6, 2006 8:04 PM

Mostly that you stop wearing black lipstick because it makes your lips look small. It's not even that personal of a comment, I've seen perhaps one person that can pull off black lipstick, and he was black. Try purple or burgundy.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Spike
Date: Jul 6, 2006 1:25 PM

sure. what are you suggesting?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Cloud
Date: Jul 6, 2006 11:32 AM

Are you open to suggestions?

LMAO. The End.
5th-Jul-2006 11:32 pm - Vonnegut: chauvinist or homosexual?
I finished Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut today, because my bleeding liberal heart simply orgasms for anti-war propaganda like that. I was thoroughly enjoying the book; the writing style reminded me a lot of Chuck Pahalunik, if Pahalunik ever wrote about something important. However, roughly halfway through it I came to the realization that every time there was a female character, their only purpose was to have babies.

Now, considering this is a book about World War II, the female gender would obviously be expected to take a back seat, but to only be mentioned for reproduction? That's a bit offensive there, Kurt. You are supposed to be a left-wing hippie with a new-world outlook on society, one would think gender roles would be included.

The main character, Billy's wife? Mentioned for her expansive size, repulsive nature and ability to squeeze out future Green Barret material. (Oh, wait, my bad, I guess he did mention the physical attractiveness of the female characters, too. That matters just as much as their ability to pop 'em out.) Billy's daughter? Got married and became a housewife, which is how it should be, damnit. He impregnates some beautiful movie star when on display at an aline zoo. She stays in the zoo and takes care of the kid, of course.

By far my favorite character in the whole book was Maggie White, an insignificant character mentioned once at a party. Maggie "was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies. Men looked at her and wanted to fill her up with babies right away."

To which I reply: are you fucking kidding me?

A very depressing epiphany to an otherwise good book. But the question remains: is Vonnegut a chauvinist or a homosexual? The reason I bring sexual orientation into the question is because the only other author I remember making such a sweeping generalization of the female sex is Oscar Wilde, who was quite the Flamming Dandy, if you will.

Sorry for the feminist bitchfit. I'm not as angry as I sound, more like offended bemusement.
1st-Jun-2006 03:04 am - Forgot...
I forgot to post about the Colorado Dark Arts Festival, which I attended this past Sunday. Surprisingly, I had a lot of fun. It was just Julie an me this year, and I forgot how much I like hanging out with just her. People seemed a lot less pretentious this year, or perhaps I am more outgoing. Or maybe wearing a green dress to a goth event it bound to rake in the compliments no matter what you do.

Click for pictures, by the wayCollapse )

This event reminded me why I became interested in goth to begin with (The Netherworld was playing fantastic music for some reason, Xmal-Deutchland, Siouxsie, Christian Death and the like) and the people were just nice and interesting to get to know. I could probably write a paragraph for each person I talked to, but no one would read it so I'm not going to bother.

Maybe I'll even go to The Church a few times before summer's end.
1st-Jun-2006 02:00 am - Trent Reznor can blow me
I don't think I fully comprehended my dislike for Nine Inch Nails until last night. Previously, I was under the impression that their early stuff wasn't bad, but I honestly dislike them. Their music just doesn't sound good to me; there is nothing melodic about it and the lyrics are comically cliche`.

As for seeing Bauhaus for the second time: it was nice and all, but not worth $50 to see an hour set list. I thought it would be worth the money to see them play at Red Rocks (because the setting is beautiful and whatnot) but they took the stage before sundown, which not only meant that the bald spot on Peter Murphy's head was extra reflective, but it also meant that there was no smoke and lights to accompany them (and what is a goth band without an obscene amount of smoke?)

Peter Murphy and Daniel Ash were fighting on stage again. Kind of funny, but mostly awkward when the singer misses a refrain because he's yelling at the guitarist.

Haley and I left a few songs into NIN, to avoid the crowds and evade the NIN fan that was trying to hit on me. I would like to know what part of "I was here for the opening band" that that guy wasn't able to grasp. Then again, he is stupid enough to worship Trent Reznor; I can only fathom the depths of his idiocy.

On the way back, I kissed a hearse while wearing far too much lipstick, because I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. We attempted to make cookies at home, but it would appear that Haley and I are domestically impaired. Ah, well.
20th-Apr-2006 09:46 pm - Columbine
Today is the seventh anniversary of the Columbine massacre, and I can't help but obsess.

I remember I was in the fifth grade; they told my class there was a mountain lion near the school and wouldn't let us outside, because that's the kind of pseudo-mountain town Littleton is. Images from the television at home showing an areal view of a roof, something about "outcasts."

And all these years later, after so much death and anguish and exploitation, nothing has changed. I walk through the same halls the survivors finished their school year out in, and I understand why they did it. Administrative worship of athletes, "nerds" being spat on from balconies.

I'm not saying I condone those acts committed, no amount of bullying warrants death, but I empathize. I know what it's like to have no friends. But I toughened up, made some friends, and became a bitch on the exterior; it was necessary for me survive. I became alternative, because I want nothing to do with such a shallow society as the one that surrounds me. And I'll never forget what it feels like to be alone and rejected.

There was no one minuet of silence to honor and remember the lives lost at Columbine in school today, like there normally is. The only reminder today were the usual special edition Columbine license plates that the mainstream girls buy because they have flowers on them. But I'll remember.
This page was loaded Jun 25th 2017, 5:21 pm GMT.